Odd Musings in a Peculiar Existence
by DasCheesenborgir
Summary: Gore is red, Plasma is blue, photos are flat and now so is everyone you knew.
1. Scraping the Barrel

**I dun fucking know. Feeling kinda down right now, figured I'd cheer myself up in the only way I know how. There are, of course, a couple topics I deemed too sacred to desecrate. It's not** _ **all**_ **intentional ignorance of the darker shit going on.**

 **If you're really itching to find any purpose in this, you could always try and decipher what each little dumb phrase alludes to. Shouldn't be too difficult to be honest :p**

 **0-0-0**

' _The tranquil rush of trickling sniggering flashing of splashing of rapidly beating wings beckoned to the glass portal with blue beard; behold, Hellacopter, the great communicator!'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'White powder residue on kitchen counter._

 _Drugs?'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'Slick tendrils of viscously sweet liquid lash out from its maw, thrashing and whirling with madness its formless form as it reaches out to pull me into the abyss. I backstep out of its pathetic reach with ease. The thrashing ceases, and all that remains is an empty metal husk.'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'Neighbours talking about "cutting the grass"._

 _Drugs?'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'Vibrant green stalks stand steadfast in the sunlight, an ever stalwart sigil of dedication amongst the putrid filth of this untidy cell. Another splash of clear liquid distorts the flow of light. Beautiful. More water.'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'A flash of dainty white light blindsides me from the corner._

 _Disgusting self-indulgence._

 _Wide eyes of a doe caught in the headlights._

 _Speechless._

 _The mast creaks.'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'Blank void of dark glares back at her._

 _Sumptuous furnishings litter this alien surrounding, but it is the screen that draws her trained eye._

 _A sudden stroke of insanity overtakes her incensed mind._

 _Tongue goes numb.'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'"Guess you got your meds filled."_

 _Drugs?'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'White streaks smack onto smooth blue._

 _Clouds in the sky. Or cotton candy. Sweeter that way._

 _A flash of muted thunder catches her in the moment._

 _Sails unfurl in the surge of strange weather.'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'Damnable doe._

 _Timid and inactive even with the sky stretched over it._

 _Chocolate spots. Two dozen and a pair._

 _The wind howls.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _White powder residue falling from the sky._

 _Drugs?'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Blood red cashmere- rich, crimson, untainted by dainty white._

 _Visceral beauty, splayed across the warped mirror._

 _The Chaste Sister preaches ever dutifully._

 _Wooden hull groans in longing.'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'Allow me to communicate with you my desire to use guns!'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'Bottle by the coals._

 _Bearer seek seek lest.'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'Now I've been shot in the chest! That can't be good!'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'This train's huge! That must mean it has huge wheels! It'll rip and tear my vast amounts of intestinal innards out!'_

 **0-0-0**

 _'The sky is crying._

 _Weeping into the grass, unseen, in plain sight._

 _A storm is coming._

 _The ship sets sail.'_


	2. Death Throes of the Kra-Can

**I figure if the game is fuckin me up so bad I may as well return the favor through melodrama and silliness.**

 **I gotta handful of keyboards and a headful of mad! That's your game, Dontnod! Dig it!**

 **EDIT:** _ **Somehow,**_ **along the way, this got way more… I wouldn't say serious, but not quite as packed with oneliners and brick jokes as the first chapter was. Still smothered in that teenage pretentiousness though ;)**

' **Naval battle' heavily exaggerated and simplified for dramatic effect. Don't taze me**

 **0-0-0**

' _The sky was crimson._

 _Blood. Still wept tears._

 _Grotesque beauty._

 _Blotted out by an angel.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Never liked professor._

 _Artist._

 _Hair looks unkempt._

 _Drugs?'_

 **0-0-0**

' _This time pointing fingers, not camera._

 _So much easier to aim from behind lenses._

 _Lenses obscure. Warp. Makes you see the things you want to see._

 _Choice is still obvious. Almost disturbingly so. All eyes turn to the remorseless devil in his throne to my side._

 _Even now he is shameless. Twisted visage and calloused voice betray nothing but suppressed contempt._

 _Left searching for something, perhaps in disbelief- the crimson clad demon jerks away, the sudden violent movement and rebuttal to the puppet leaving no eagerness to continue the short-lived investigation._

 _Eyes are still lenses after all.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _How can the sky feel caged?_

 _It is immense- it spans across the world, for all to see. The little ones beneath it wish they could stretch their forms so freely._

 _But it is still tethered to the earth in a way. Emptiness, and the unknown lies around it- larger than it could ever be, always growing, always watching with millions of glittering eyes. Never enough._

 _And even those beneath it could only see one side of its face at a time.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _The wind blows stronger, but its flow does not move in harmony with the waters._

 _The ship's foundation creaks as its crew struggle to keep it on course.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Came home late. Dinner already finished._

 _Found bag of flour left on kitchen counter._

 _Put it back into cupboard. Left behind white powder residue._

 _Cleaned it up.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _The usual thudding goosesteps of Der Step Fuhrer do not linger outside for long. Shame. Was hoping to introduce him to the Night Train while the last fumes of the 'zerker' package were still going._

… _another hit couldn't hurt. Unlike other things.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Helped myself to some beans. Didn't want to use oven or microwave._

 _Too damn loud. Late at night. Family sleeping._

 _Beans were fine the way they were.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Who's a punk and a half! I'm a punk and a half! Berserker-packin punk and a half!'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Darkness creeps along the periphery- an angel stands in the centerpiece, but she sheds no light on the cruel shadow._

 _Her tears are mixing with those of the sundered sky._

 _Her eyes are black pits- burnt out coals, fires long snuffed out by the weeping sky, dark, so dark…_

… _why did it have to be like this?_

 _As fate would have it, light did come. But not for the ones who needed salvation.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Might makes light! And I feel mighty!'_

 **0-0-0**

' _The storm rages on, the crew straining and fighting to keep the battered hull from shearing apart._

 _The sails flitter violently in the blindness of it all, aimless._

 _Two other vessels sluice by them, heavy and thick flames pluming out from their steel hulls._

 _One flies bright azure banners. The other proudly bearing an emblazoned sigil of a simian skull on its starboard._

 _What kind of madmen war in the midst of a maelstrom?_

 _Madmen that pay no heed to the battered ship still flying its ragged remains of colors. Perhaps it is a blessing- the storm is violent enough on its own. But their failure seems almost destined now, and nobody wants to sink like this, lost and forgotten at sea._

 _Cannons are primed. The hull may be breaking, but it still houses plenty of fire within._

 _Some glance tentatively over the edge. Others scurry about in a zealous frenzy, determined to carry the orders of their captains to their grave.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Could detect the lingering scent of filth and incense in the house._

 _Drugs._

 _Knocked on door. No answer._

 _Refrained from pushing further. Didn't need another fight._

 _Tired. So tired._

 _Work still left undone. Night shift begins soon.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _The sun has left. Color drains from the sky._

 _Her livelihood, gone._

 _The moon offers little in the way of reassurance. How can it, when it is smaller, weaker?_

 _She turns to the ever enigmatic void for comfort. It offers none, rebukes a sudden flare of boldness with a casual flicker of just one of its many, far brighter stars._

 _There is nothing left but to try and stave off the encroaching loneliness.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _The mythical tin beast confronts me again. But there is no escape from its grasp this time- these floors cannot be stained with its innards._

 _I must confront it personally._

 _My stomach clenches, and my throat steels itself in anticipation for the onslaught of sparkling sweet liquid.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Oh yeah! Yeah! Dig the prowess, the capacity for destruction! I'm the punk- I'm superbad! I'm caught after hours in this dark shithole and the alarm's going off! Cops? Step Fuhrer? You think you can get m-'_

 **0-0-0**

' _She's reckless. Almost endearingly so._

 _Never seen a butterfly more willing to fling itself into the fire._

 _But that also makes it frightening- overshadowingly so._

 _Boldness alone will not save her from disintegrating in the flames.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Damn! Who do you suppose left all that cash down there!? And why?_ _ **Why?**_ _Disability fund? Oh, the humanity!'_

 **0-0-0**

' _The night is always so cold._

 _And the sky must bear it all._

 _Alone… in this unforgiving existence…'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Tumultuous waters are the least of their worries now._

 _They have the attention for certain- both the Apes and the Blues have turned their guns upon them now, the incoming shrapnel and flame threatening to finish what the storm cannot._

 _They won't go down without a fight, however futile it all may seem now. A single ship cannot turn the tide it sails on.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Heh. Never seen a butterfly so eager to dive into water either._

 _I suppose it couldn't hurt, just this once…'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Gah! Chlorinated water!? Jacket! Soaks! Burns! Turned my back… that was stupid! Stupid, stupid doe! Now you're going to be stupid and wet!'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Strong fire. Only burns even brighter when doused with water._

… _beautiful, in its own right.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Splashing. Laughing._

 _The pool._

 _Drugs?'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Damn! A Step Fuhrer! Sneaky sonuva-'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Invisible little shitkids._

 _Flashlight._

 _Light makes Might.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _No! Can't catch us! I rule the midnight air! I creep the steps and floor!'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Vandalized, crime-smeared door._

 _I shall pass.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Hail to the chief! Nobody outsmarts Mad Max- floor it! Ride the lightning!'_

 **0-0-0**

' _Despair and darkness surrounds us- yet in my head I hear something that sounds like an angel._

 _An angel that has long since left our world, but yet still shines a light down on us._

 _Lo, for I have found the Holy Grail of secrets- as I ride, knee deep through the dark, all is clear. I know what must be done…_

 _The angels' suffering will not go unpunished.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _A brief spark of life awoke her from her tenuous slumber, a guttural, mechanical growl of euphoria._

 _Unrefined and barbaric as it was, it was… free.'_

 **0-0-0**

' _A sharp, horrifying crack sounded out along the bow, great planks of once sturdy wood splintering under the immense onslaught of flak and torrential water._

 _Cries of despair rang out._

 _They were listing.'_


	3. An Obscure Tale of Chivalry

**Sometimes, what one says doesn't always... fully convey their thoughts.**

 **Pure piss-take.**

 **0-0-0**

' _I stumble through the muddled dark, shadowy graphite smearing on my flesh, blurred algorithms crawling in my periphery. My mind is shackled. It seems to strain my very heart with each coronary contraction. I beg of thee, release me from thi-'_

 **Do you want to meet for coffee after school? I need an excuse not to study.**

' _Oh how I long for your presence, even but a passing digital whisper that acknowledges my feeble form in this tumultuous existen-'_

 **PLEASE.**

 **0-0-0**

' _I long for your companionship once more, in its full, reckless, and blazing beauty- let us cast aside the shackles of reason and logic, ascend to a higher plane of existence through praise to the Dark Gods channeled from senseless destruction and-'_

 **HEY MAD MAX. LET'S BUST SHIT UP.**

' _Oh woe is me, that I am yet tethered to this mundane existence through physical presence and academic obligation; in my eagerness to journey towards mutual enlightenment I have neglected such distasteful, but ultimately necessary duties…'_

 **Wait. I have to study for a physics test.**

'… _it is little consolation, but perhaps some simple wit, however dry it may be in such a delicate situation may alleviate this burden however momentarily for thy-'_

 **So if we bust anything, we also have to measure its velocity.**

 **0-0-0**

' _Ach, for once the mundane routine of this lonely life has served as a muffling distraction from the throbbing pain weighing on my spirit, the gaping void left by your continued absence-_

 _-oh, it pains me to ask for your attention once more and risk your wrath should you be dealing with your own burdens…_

… _but I must request that-"_

 **Hey-**

' _Beautiful, wondrous, strong, intelligent being perched on the cusp of enlightenment above the churning crowd of sane lunatics-'_

 **-Mx-**

' _Oh how it leaves me pondering for days upon weeks why you choose to wear your title in such an abridged m-'_

 **-can you get my flash drive?**

 **0-0-0**

' _Oh, Gods be praised, a spark of life! Days of toil washed away with but a mere glance at the poorly transcribed wisdom that you impart with but a simple utilitarian response, the sheer emotion and tiredness that your words convey- fret not, I shall await you by my vessel and spirit you away from the dark-'_

 **I'll meet you in the lot.**

' _Though fatigue and pain have coursed through my frail mortal form, I shall stand ready to receive one of your unending grace-'_

 **Looking cool.**

' _Oh, if only-'_

 **You'll see.**

 **0-0-0**

' _Bah! Blasphemous devil! Daemon! Foul creature so boldly striding up with such… such… heretical disregard for one of her standing! Arrogant, delusional fool-'_

' _-lo, though the time is dark my faith shines!'_

' _The enemy fights back, but I shall hold against this scum-'_

' _Blows rain upon my face, but my face is my shield!'_

 **0-0-0**

' _The haze clears… my skull throbs as though the endless onslaught continues to pound against it, but no pain could eclipse what I may experience had the blows that were meant for you connected._

 _I…_

 _I would only be so bold to hope that you would think the s-'_

 **Your white knight Warren here.**

 **I know you were worried about me.**


End file.
